Sunday Afternoon In Upper Wallop
By Elton Wildermuth, 1995
Walking through the village on a Sunday afternoon,
Millie stops to buy her son a carnival ballon.
On the green, the band attempts to play a jaunty tune:
a pleasant way to while away a Sunday.
At the pub, the alewife is complaining about men,
how Hubert has his gallstones on the mantel in the den,
and someone's stealing petticoats from washing-lines again:
the same old things she harps on every Sunday.
Vicar's Sunday sermon has now run its standard course,
and Tom the baker's son is suicidal with remorse,
the Ladies' League for Decency is picketing in force,
and Major Sykes is busy in the parlour with his horse.
Trevor Morgan's chums all held a party there last night,
and Mrs. Morgan's budgie went quite featherless with fright.
Someone shaved the Corgi's bum, then dyed it green and white,
and none of them were seen in church on Sunday.
Vicar loves to tell us that in brotherhood, we each
should strive to love our neighbour, even as the Scriptures teach,
but some say Vicar's far to apt to practice what he preach;
it's a good thing God forgives him every Sunday.
Constable left suddenly, before they served the writs:
it seems he's been abusing his official perquisites.
The whole affair left Johnny's mother throwing fifty fits,
and now poor Johnny's being very careful how he sits.
They found another postman for us just last Tuesday week,
a burly, strapping fellow with a marvelous physique,
but Helen thinks that he arouses her maternal streak;
we're betting he won't make it past next Sunday.
Veterinary's wife has somehow come down with the mange,
and Will has gone off dowsing for his teeth at Crofter's Grange.
In a world that's oftentimes disquieting and strange,
it's good to know that after all, some things will never change.